365 days--266 very long ones

Everyone already knows I'm completely obsessed with the flashback game so here I am blogging a flashback once again. A year ago Trev and I went to the Jack Johnson concert. We had been trying to have a baby for a couple months and joked that I was pregnant and our little fetus was getting its first concert experience. A couple days later we found out it wasn't a joke, peanut was growing inside me!
The next few weeks consisted of lots of laying in bed, trying not to throw up and feeling fat. Ha! I remember taking this picture and thinking that I was huge! In retrospect I wasn't even close!

At 37 weeks I remember taking this picture and being more ready than every for labor and to finally meet Addie. At this point everything in life was uncomfortable and I often referred to myself as the beached whale (especially at night trying to turn over in bed)

When Addie came at 38 weeks exactly I couldn't have been more excited to meet and hold my little girl. However things didn't go anything like I had expected it to be. Addie ended up in the NICU for the first 10 days of her life. Thinking about the whole experience later on I realized that Addie's birth was nothing short of a complete miracle. Because my doctor told me to go to the hospital even though I wasn't sure I was in labor, because my doctor and I decided I should be induced, because Addie decided to book it out of my stomach in 2 hours, because her doctor decided to start her on antibiotics just in case there was some sort of infection, Addie is a healthy happy baby today. It seems like there were so many small details along the way that if things had gone differently Addie wouldn't be as she is today. I still can't figure it out but every time we drive by the hospital I look up and see the window of the NICU that was "Addie's window," and I have very good memories of those 10 days.

Beside a couple minutes at 3 A.M. the night right after her delivery this was the first time I got to hold Addie, day 2 of her life. Most mothers get this experience minutes after birth but I had to patiently wait until she was off her ventilator. It was such an amazing experience I was crying, probably why my eyes look weird in the picture.

Once Addie was born the next couple months followed with a lot less sleep and a lot more cuddling and loving on our new baby girl. I try to block out the endless days of her crying, my stress and worry that something was wrong with her, and the day Addie's doctor labeled her a mother killer.

And here she is after 9 months of growing inside me and 4 months of growing on the outside. We have the best, sweetest little baby girl anyone could ask for. I used to be scared to death of the whole idea of pregnancy and labor and raising a baby. To calm myself down I always thought people have multiple children so it can't be that bad. Now I realize how quick you forget the nausea, the contractions, the donut that you have to sit on for a week after childbirth, and the sleep deprivation because you have this cute little face to look at instead